Hmmmmm. Uhhhhhhhh. Oooooffffff.

So…I saw Cats.

There are a lot of things that go into my decision to see a movie.

Does it interest me? Is it made by Disney? Does it have familiar faces in it?

Those are just a few. When it came to my decision to see Cats, I answered those questions.

Does it interest me? No

Is it made by Disney? No

Does it have familiar faces in it? Yes, Taylor Swift.

So right out of the gate, I knew I probably shouldn’t see this movie. But then I read the reviews.

They were terrible.

Now I KNEW, I had to see Cats. And what better movie partner to see this ‘movie’ with than my friend Jon who doesn’t go to the movies. Why did he accept my invitation to see Cats? I have no idea. That will be a mystery for the rest of our lives.

Let’s get to the review!

Story

I’m not sure there is one to be honest. They don’t make the plot very clear to begin with, but this is what I think it’s about.

There is a very important cat (Dame Judy Dench) and she has to choose the next cat mayor. There are two candidates (James Corden and Idris Elba). James Corden is a cat of the public and he likes to eat a lot of food. Idris Elba is an evil cat and wants to cheat his way to becoming the only candidate.

I’m pretty sure that’s an Explain Like I’m Five plot synopsis of this movie.

If that isn’t the plot, then I have no clue what this movie was about.

There was also the main cat (Francesca Hayward) who was abandoned by her owners and she didn’t feel that she fit in with the other strays.

She gets chauffeured around by other strays to meet the celebrity cats. Each cat has their own musical number. I’ll rank those in the Music section of the review.

In the end, there is no story or if there is one, they did a terrible job at telling it.

Music

So a theater adaption of a hit Broadway musical should have good music accompanied by a fantastic choreographed number, right?

Not really. Or at least this film didn’t go above and beyond for some of the numbers.

This was the first musical that I saw that I didn’t listen to the soundtrack on the drive home. That is mostly because none of the music was really that great and warranted another listen.

BUT there were some great songs and sequences that I really did enjoy from the movie.

Here is how I will rank the Top 5 musical numbers in the movie:

  1. Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat
  2. Beautiful Ghosts
  3. Macavity
  4. Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town
  5. Mr. Mistoffelees

As a big Taylor Swift fan, I can easily say she was my favorite part of the movie. Her performance, while not my favorite, was the part I was most looking forward to and gave me the extra push to stay awake for the rest of the movie.

The song she wrote with Andrew Lloyd Webber, ‘Beautiful Ghosts’, was beautiful and fit in with the other songs so well. It was yet another highlight of the movie for me.

Skimbleshanks started off with awesome tap dancing and just a nice upbeat song that kept me awake and somewhat entertained.

Final Thoughts

I didn’t know what to expect when I sat down to watch the movie. I knew it was a musical and had some famous people in it, but that’s all I knew about the source material itself.

The rest of my knowledge was based off what I saw on Taylor Swifts social media and the Twitter reviews of this movie.

How this is one of the most successful Broadway shows ever really surprises me. It isn’t that great of a movie, I can’t say anything about the play since I’ve never seen it.

The most talked about aspect of the movie is the mix of human and CGI cat costumes.

The version we saw was the original version (before the patch sent out that would fix up the CGI). You could see the hands of Idris Elba and the tattoo on Jason Derulos hand. Idris Elbas feet weren’t CGI’d either.

We can just collectively say that the CGI was a mess but I would also say that playing a game of I Spy during the movie trying to find all the CGI mishaps was a lot of fun.

Would I see this movie again? Absolutely not.

Did I regret seeing this movie? Absolutely not.

Did I enjoy myself? Somewhat.

This is the first time that I can fully stand behind one of my movie reviews and not have it be between Good, Bad or Eh.

This movie, Cats, was just straight up

Bad.